On Sunday, September 27, 2009, I had a wonderful experience at a single's conference. I began to think really hard about why God created me. When I started to ask that question, the Father kept me up until the early hours of the morning. It wasn't until I got home later on Sunday night, that I started to pray harder than I ever have in my 22 years of living. I never fully ignited my prayer life as I've told my peers. There were certain issues that kept coming to my mind while I slept in my bed. God was telling in small ways that I have to give some issues to Him. He told me me in His small and still voice to give it up to Him for the past few months. Then at 2 am this morning and yesterday morning, God kept me up until 2 am to give "it" up to Him. The issues that I struggled to give Him were self-condemnation, lack of self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, feeling of being unworthy to be called His child, feeling unworthy of the blessings He can give in my life so richly, and accept positive feedback from people without dismissing with a comment of past sins. Another thing I learned to give to the Father is being a people pleaser. I learned to let go of that when someone I knew confessed that he struggles with that issue earlier in life.
When I was read Proverbs 3, John 15, Romans 5 and 8, and Philippians 4 a few days ago, I started to really pay attention to what the scriptures were saying. For the first time in my life, I began to see that the Bible wasn't just mass-produced for spreading the Word to everyone in the world. It is the best-selling book in history because people want to know what God has for them. I now understand that better now as opposed to a few weeks ago when I texted the above mentioned Biblical passages to everyone who needed to read them. Once I really prayed, read them, and in an hour I became delivered from the grips of self-condemnation, lingering depression, and from caring about what people say about me. It wasn't easy, it was painful, I cried, and I feel so free. I woke up this morning with a clearer frame of mind, joy, peace, and felt as if I could fly. I read Psalms 4 which contained a verse saying those who trust in God have peace and are able to rest while sleeping in their beds. Those who do evil can't rest unless they bring another person Hell on earth. For some people it takes a lifetime to be freed from certain demons, but God's deliverance comes at a necessary time.
Furthermore, chastisement isn't easy to receive. Being human, we ignore His chastisment and put it in the back of our minds and spirits. Other times, God has to humble us in order for His voice to be heard. We can play stupid, play deaf, and pretend as if we can't hear God's voice. However, God will do whatever it takes for His voice to be heard despite how hard we try to shut Him up. However, God corrects those who love Him. The chastisment may be painful when He wants us to remove people out of our lives. His chastisement is hardest when we have to examine ourselves internally and externally. Rev. Byrd once mentioned that there are costs to being obedient to God, but there are harsher penalties when we are disobedient. I'd rather pay the costs for being obedient to God. His yoke is easy and burden is extremely light (Matthew 11:30); the path to destruction is very wide since there are numerous temptations which run rampant in the world.
In closing, God chastises because He loves us. A father chastises his son because he loves him. John 15:7 mentioned that God corrects us so He move us into a higher and better level in life, remove old habits, develop better qualities, and possibly bring someone up with us. While I was reading my Bible and praying in my grandparent's living room, I got delivered. I felt free this morning and felt such peace which can't be described (Philippians 4). Even when unexpected things happen, I still feel God's hand and presence over me. God even told me not to look to the past with regret which gives Satan an entry into my life. Satan is truly a liar whose pride got him thrown out of Heaven. The Devil's purpose for walking the earth (1 Peter 5:8) is to keep people from entering the kingdom of Heaven and experience the kingdom on earth. Remember that everyone and I pray that this new note helps you out.
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